Happy Holidays!!!

The Christmas holiday was good this year. Minimal family drama, lots of happiness and plentiful of gifts.

CJ is coming a long way. She's taken a few steps, eating on her own, talking a bit and had showered (she's probably had many more since then). They put it a pacemaker and a defibrillator and took the trach out. She will be going to a rehab facility in Nebraska as this facility doesn't care whether or no you have insurance or money. Their main focus is rehabbing their patients and giving them the best quality of life. I'm very thankful for facilities like this.

JB just received a letter of denial for being JC's kidney donor. JB had some mental health issues many, many years ago and through the testing, a few medical issues were found, so the board made the decision to deny her. While JB had made the decision to not donate based on these medical issues, she's very angry that the letter stated she was mainly denied due to her past mental health issues.

I've called the coordinator as I have a million questions before committing to the testing. JB and I are the same height/weight and she fell to low on the creatinine clearance scale for donation to be safe long term. I'm fearful that I, too, will fall low on the scale. JC and I spoke yesterday and we both feel that I should call my GP and have the creatinine testing done before I schedule anything at Mayo as we both agree that if I fall low on the scale, I will not donate either. Falling low on the scale puts me at a seriously high risk of kidney failure in 20-30 years if I go through with donation.

JC has been on the national donor list since this entire process started back in May (I think it was May), so she's not losing ground there.

Accentuating the positive....

So much to talk about and two minutes in which to do so....

My cousin, CJ, did another 180. It's been so completely surreal. One moment she wasn't expected to make it and her family had to schedule a care meeting to discuss what to do. Give her more time or say goodbye. CJ's mom pushed for another MRI the morning of the care meeting. The EEG taken the night before the care meeting coupled with some pupil testing at the same time made the neurologists' decision about 90% determined. The MRI....the doc said that if hadn't known it was CJ's scan, he would have thought it was done on a healthy human being. No brain damage, no white spots. It was decided that CJ just needs time for her body to get it all figured out. They put in a trach and a feeding tube and weaned her off the vent. She's back to breathing almost 100% on her own and has short periods of wakefulness.

Regarding JC's kidney transplant....over Thanksgiving JC and JB came to visit for a week. JB is almost decided that she's not going to do the donation because her creatine clearance is pretty low and if she does do it, she could go into kidney failure in 20-30 years. She's not had kids yet and she's not sure she's OK with the risks. The creatine clearance is determined on age, weight and amount of proteins (some crazy formula) and her clearance could float higher the longer she loses weight and keeps if off. JB has to have a colonoscopy and another CAT scan because they found something in her colon, so I'm guessing she'll wait until those results are in before she makes a final decision. Should she choose to not do it, then I'm sure JC will be calling me to get my testing scheduled.

Getting a bit worried about the mad hatter. Every morning she says her stomach hurts and sometimes in the evening. She's eating normal amounts and is drinking the same. BM's seem to be pretty normal and consistant. Sleep and activity patterns are consistent with her age. We'll have to take apple juice out of her diet again. And I'm wondering if she just has a nervous stomach. These started when she started Kindergarten. She went a couple weeks without mentioning once that her stomach hurt and then it started up again. And she's been saying that she doesn't want to go to school. But once she gets there she has a great time and enjoys all her friends.

Chunky tried to break his nose over Thanksgiving. He was playing ball with the mad hatter and my nephew P. Chunky leaped to catch the ball and instead caught the toy box with the bridge of his nose. Swelled up and turned purple right away. There wasn't any blood and he was rubbing, poking, picking at his nose and wasn't bellering in pain, so we opted to watch it and if he started hollering and we couldn't touch his nose, then we'd take him in. It bruised up pretty good and the swelling went down and his nose is still cute, pert and straight.

Soldier and I did a 5k Thanksgiving morning. It was my first ever!!! Back in my early 20's I picked up running with my best friend. I ran religiously every day and guessed each run was about 3 miles. I felt and looked great. Here it is 14 years later and I'm trying to pick it back up. I get to the gym 3-5 times a week. If I get there 3 times a week, it's for the 30 minutes personal training sessions and no cardio. If I go more than 3 times, those days are cardio and some free weights. I'm excited that I ran the entire 5k and did it in just over 40 minutes. I totally can't wait for Spring to do more. There is one tomorrow, but it's like 30 degrees out and I'm not OK running in that. 45 degree weather is one thing.

Sucks big donkey nuts

Today sucks big donkey nuts. Why? Cause my 27-year old cousin, mother to an almost 3 year old daughter and wife to a doting husband, is likely not going to make it. CJ took a turn for the worst last night and is on a vent and filling with fluid. Brain scan shows lots of white area which means 'dead brain' and she has no active brain waves. They are doing a series of tests tomorrow to determine whether or not she'll come back or if this is permanent and they need to say goodbye. I'm physically ill over this. I was so positive last week because she was showing huge signs of improvement and had a couple hours of lucidity.

Because I felt so positive last week, I made a point to be positive about everything and to find the positive in every person/event regardless of how awful or negative. I felt great!! Everything was so much more clear and I was much happier and didn't feel so sluggish. Today, I can't look beyond the negative.

This sliver of positive in this whole awful event....CJ is an organ donor. Her family is aware of JC's need for a kidney. If CJ has the same blood type as JC, JC has first rights to CJ's kidney. It's WAY to bittersweet and all three of us Girlz are having a really hard time with this. This is not how we wanted this all to happen. JB was gonna donate and I was going to be the backup for the far distant future.

I know God works in mysterious ways, but I am having a hard time with it. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason regardless of the situation, but she didn't have a hateful bone in her body. I don't understand. Maybe God has another agenda for her, but what about her husband and tot? I will ask God to keep them close and help them through this awfulness.

I can't seem to keep the tears from coming when I think of her, see her FB page and her farm as my Farmville neighbor. We really only started to reconnect this past year. First on FB and then in July at J's 10 year memorial. She will be greatly missed by all.

Quickie

Well, testing at Mayo all went well. JB needs to have a colonoscopy and a CAT scan. They found something in her colon and wanted to have it fully checked out before moving forward.

And there is a highly likelihood that they won't approve her as a donor. Her creatinine clearance is on the low end. Based on the formula they use, if she donates, she could be in kidney failure at 60 years of age and need a transplant herself. There are many factors involved in the amount of creatine your body puts out and it's possible this may fix itself over time.

I'm bummed because a blog I follow during the week was shut down to invite only at some point over the weekend. I only followed and very rarely posted. I had so much time vested in reading and truly held a few of those great ladies in very high regard. Late last week some not very nice things were said and some ladies stepped away for a bit. I can understand that and it made me realize that some people can just be plain hateful while others can have so much compassion for others they only know virtually. I thought it a bit odd that while the owner of the blog stated that this was different in that anyone could say whatever and there weren't any repercussions. Seems her tune has been changed. OR someone hacked into her blog, set it to invite only and she's not aware of it. (TINA - if you are reading, can you email me at kimberelym@yahoo.com and let me know what's going on)

My 27 yr old cousin had a heart attack on Friday. Her daughter is Chunky's age. Almost 3. It's truly a miracle that she's come back almost completely whole. She has a pinhead size bit of brain damage, which can be fixed through surgery if needed and has some damage to her heart. She will have to have a defibulator put in before she leaves the hospital, but they expect her to make a full recovery.

Otherwise all is right in my world. Work is busy. Kids are finally cold free. Soldier signed me up to do a 5k on Thanksgiving morning. Not sure how I'm gonna pull that off, but I'm gonna try.

Quick update

The Girlz are at Mayo Clinic today for JB's three day donor testing. It was a very early start and when I spoke to them at 11:30am, JB was waiting for her renal kidney function test. Non-invasive. Shooting dye into her and then watching it travel through her kidneys. It's a two hour test.

JB will have to be back at Mayo fairly early tomorrow morning for another day of testing and Friday will wrap up whatever is left and to get preliminary results of all the tests. At that time they'll find out if she's a full compatible match. JC's initial donor did three days of testing only to find out she wasn't a tissue match. We are hoping for different results.

Chunky discovered earthworms over the weekend. He was not happy at all about having to put the worm back in the dirt. With a suggestion that he do so quickly would warrant him a trip to the Skittle jar, Mr. Worm found his way home safely.

Mad Hatter got her first music CD. She LOVES Black Eyed Peas. Listens to this CD on her Barbie Karaoke machine quite a bit. I especially love it when she sings along and dances. I've asked if she wants to take a hip-hop dance class and she wants no part of it.

Chunky wants to take karate. He's 2 1/2. They don't want him. Soldier is gonna try golf and skiing with both of them. I don't do either and do not find any sort of joy/excitement with either. I will watch and encourage.

Thanks to all for keeping the Girlz in your thoughts and well wishes during the next few days. I'll post when I know more.

Happy Halloween and safe trick or treating!!!

Holy October Batman!!!

So, here it is October 1st. Where did the summer go? Quite possibly in the trash with what was called a deck.

It's been crazy in our house. Soldier decided to start cutting the deck apart. With his new reciprocating saw. And guess where he left the broken blade? Where 2 year old boy hands can reach. Chunky's a climber. Duh.

Mad Hatter's got lots of new phrases. Picked up from school (those darned Kindergartners). She's cracking me up. Her outfits are spectacular. She's clean, completely dressed and ready to learn. Do I care if her skirt is green, tights are gray and shirt is orange? Nope. You outta see her get decked out for the mall. She wears more jewelry than a dollar store tramp. However, Mad Hatter pulls it off magnificently.

Personal training, while great, is beginning to kick my ass. I can barely wash myself and get dressed. My arms are experiencing muscle failure. And my abs....don't even go there. I pray I don't have to cough anytime soon.

Chunky's love for chocolate milk is going to come to an end very soon. And he will NOT be happy about it. Pull-ups are going to be a thing of the past as well. I know he'll be very unhappy about that. And I'm sure he'll find fun places to do his business to show me how unhappy he is.

Parking in one's own driveway, with the garage lights on and the front door about 50 feet from said driveway will not keep kids from trying to break into a car. Ask us how we spent our Tuesday evening. That young cop sure was pretty to look at.....

Looking out the windows checking on the cars every 10 minutes is becoming exhausting. Not sleeping much due to the house settling and me thinking it's someone breaking in is exhausting. Checking window and door locks about 5 times throughout the night is exhausting. Damn kids.

JB has her appointments set for Oct. 28-30. We should know for sure on the 30th if she's a full 100% match. Then everything gets sent to the transplant board, they discuss, approve and set the surgery date. JC wants it done by end of year since she's already met her yearly out of pocket. Her levels have gone down and I wouldn't be surprised if they make her wait until her levels spike and stay. That'll cause a lot of much unneeded drama.

Laundry still won't do itself. I'm not sure how there are 4 piles in the laundry room. Soldier wears a uniform to work every day. Kids wear one outfit a day and rarely wear jammies. I don't get it.

Work still must be done. I shouldn't be procrastinating. But I am. Everything hurts and I'm exhausted.

What I have learned since the last entry.....

People are not what they seem. And what they are is a total waste of space with no regard for accountability and use other's for their own personal gain.

I have a lot of angst for the above. A LOT.

Drama can suck an entire day or three out of your life. Gads.

My kids can hike about 4 miles without much complaint. And that's a lot for a two and a half year old.

Laughing without meaning to at the fact that a 5 year old has to tinkle very badly isn't very nice. I've been told that. The look that came when I offered to help her pee behind a tree was very, very cold. The look that came when I offered her brothers spare diaper to pee into behind a tree was ARCTIC!! Burrrr....

Gearing up to enter our home into a Halloween decorating contest is VERY exciting. Buying everything I want to is VERY expensive. Who knew?! We are going to dress up....why are costumes so blasted expensive?

Day 2 of school warranted a talk with the Kindergarten teacher. All is well and the Mad Hatter loves school. Every school day is awesome! The homework she needs to do at night...not so awesome. Bribing with treats is not awesome.

Potty training boys is not easy. They are content to pee on the potty for Skittles. If there are no Skittles, there is no pee on the potty. Very simple for a 2 1/2 year old.

Laundry still won't fold itself and put itself away. Washing the same load of clothes twice is not water/time efficient. Soldier putting them in the wash/running the cycle and then us going out of town overnight without putting those clothes in the dryer left for a very smelly load of clothes the next day. UGH.

Gorgeous weather outside + working inside all day = a not very nice person.

I've been working out with a trainer 3 days a week. Great for me. Said trainer actually wearing underwear and being chatty, even better. Considering he didn't wear underwear before and barely spoke.

Poker runs with lots of motorcycles is very exciting. Getting drunker than any of the other 200 participants is not. Apparently driving 6 hours with no kids or husband leaves one particular 36 year old woman extremely irresponsible. Who knew?

What I have learned this week.....

How many adults does it take to give a 5 year-old shots? 4. That's right. 4 adults!!! But a couple of princess stickers and a purple popsicle put the rabid animal back to her normal sweet self in about 30 seconds.

The number of recipes using zucchini? A gajillion. And we've tried almost all of them. I'm getting tired of the vegetable. I will say that zucchini apple salad was pretty tasty. Even after 4 days.

Chunky has started talking in full sentences these days. Why, just the other day he was standing behind Mad Hatter and he made this face showing his disgust, walked around to face Mad Hatter and said "pee-you. You stink." To which Mad Hatter said "but I didn't do anything". Chunky's retort "you farted". How can one not laugh at that? The look on his face puts me into hysterics EVERY SINGLE TIME. Almost like when my middle sister J got all caught up in Mad Hatter's facial expressions, choked on something and proceeded to throw up while laughing.....OK, I'm about to die over here!!!!! We blamed it on Chunky...he was only a few months old and quite the accomplished puker.

I've come to realize that I don't want any more children. Of my own. I will be an incubator for my sisters and they know it. I loved being pregnant and I love being a mom. Having a baby with my two is not something I'm going to strive for. I love my kids more than anything and wouldn't change anything about them. I've just realized that I'm completely fullfilled with the two that I have. And by the time my 5-year plan is up, my eggs will be to old anyway. Not really, but that's what I'm admitting to.

I believe I'm a bit OCD. Soldier has been spackling, sanding and painting our entire garage. It needs it terribly. And Soldier has created more storage space. Which we need badly. The dust that is accumulating from the sanding....IT'S EVERYWHERE. I loathe having to go into the garage. Everything is covered in a fine white powder. I want to power wash everything every day. Thankfully, we'll be doing just that once he's all done. In the meantime, I put on my hazmat suit to get something from the garage and go through the front door if the garage door is open so I don't have to track that crap in the house.

And speaking of house....I'm really not sure how one house can be so danged dirty. Soldier asked me how come the kitchens on FoodNetwork are so spotless....um, cause they live in LARGE homes and have other areas for their 'stuff'. We use our kitchen as a catch-all. The only time you can see the top of the table is when we have company. The new countertops....can't see them. Soldier has set up a small office with his laptop, catalogs and deck books. I'm not sure it's been clutter-free in over a year. I think we have to much 'stuff'. I want to purge and throw everything out. I just need to quit stuffing stuff into drawers and calling it cleaning up.

I started running at the gym last night. It was fantastic!!! First time running in a very long time. I felt great after. Today, my legs feel like they are slipping out of their sockets. I'm going to run again tonight. And I'm kind of excited about it. I've got a pair of designer jeans in my closet I haven't worn in well over 10 years. It's about time I get to it.

Kindergarten registration is next week. I'm praying Mad Hatter got into the morning session. My luck, the letter never made it into the right hands and she'll be stuck in the afternoon session, thus requiring us to potentially put her into an after school program or another daycare. I'm NOT OK with that.

What I learned this week...

First, please pray hard for Stellan (you can click on the photo on the right). He's in pretty poor shape right now and he and his family could use all the prayers they can get. MckMama is a pretty amazing person but she could use a few more hands to hold them up in prayer.

Secondly, I had been keeping "What I learned this week" postings in my myspace blog. I don't visit there much as myspace doesn't interst me since I primarily Facebook. With that, I thought I'd move the 'What I learned this week' postings here.

In the last few weeks, I have learned:

Laundry STILL won't do itself. No matter how much I curse and fight.

The dirty house fairies have drained their whiskey barrel. Those little bitches are terrorizing my house hourly.

My daughter starts Kindergarten very soon and I'm not sure who is more scared. Her or me.

Chunky will poop in his diaper the minute his butt hits pool water. It never fails.

Having a garden is wicked fun. Being eaten alive by mosquitoes while trying to harvest the rewards is not.

While harvesting said rewards, I almost had a heartattack by the size of a zuchinni that I caught out of the corner of my eye. Watching an adult woman pee-pee dance around large green leaves freaked out of her mind by what she's seen had to have been hysterical for the neighbor to see. That sucker was about 2 feet long and 6 inches in diameter. And I am NOT joking. And boy was it GOOD.

Taking the entire week off with Soldier and kids was rewarding. Having a messy home and suitcases not put away from our two day trip is not.

Chunky is trying his hardest to potty train. Loves his undies that glow in the dark. I just wish he'd quit PEEING in them. We take him every 10 minutes and he pees every single time. Then two minutes later a lake comes flowing out. How is that possible? We have him sit an extra 20 seconds after the last dribble comes out.

Mad Hatter loves shopping for clothes. Trying them on after purchasing...not on your life. I must check the return policy.....

One must remember when using compressed air to blow the dust out of the vacuum filter to keep their head out of the way. This one got a facefull of dust not once or twice, but three or four times. Do I ever learn? Apparently not.

Happy Birthday to me!!!!

Yes, today is my birthday. One more year older. Am I wiser? Meh.

My day started out by sleeping an hour later. Soldier has the day off for a follow up appointment and is fixing his brakes and working on the garage. While getting ready for work I heard Soldier and Chunky Love horsing around. Bathroom door opens and Chunky sneaks in. I reached around the corner and tickled his side. He said he was hiding from Daddy. We had a morning hug and snuggles and then went to finish getting ready. Mad Hatter was still in bed.

I got plenty of birthday hugs and kisses before leaving this morning. I was hoping for a beautiful summer day. I got cool and cloudy with some rain.

At work I received yummy chocolate brownies a sweet woman made. She doesn't cook well and is really trying. Another co-worker took me to lunch. I'm so absolutely blessed. My girlfriends have all sent various wise-cracking emails wishing me happy birthday. Again, I'm so blessed to have these people.

The woman from the jeweler keeps calling about their redesign event going on today and that they have some really beautiful stones in the size and color I'm coveting. I told Soldier about it. Many days ago. We've talked about replacing the center stone on my engagement ring with something a bit larger and much better quality. We then decided that maybe doing that and resetting the diamonds into a better band wouldn't be a bad idea either. Do I tell him that's what I want to do for my birthday or do I shrug it off? I'm so sentimental about my wedding set, I'm not sure I'd go through with it anyway.

What else??? Not much. We are having a fundraiser for my sister for her upcoming kidney transplant. I've been craving sweets and junk WAY to much. I'm not quite sure why. I generally don't. Last night at the gym, the scale was showing a total loss of 6 pounds. I was thrilled with that. I was not thrilled that I ripped the lining in my slacks yesterday morning before work. One reason I dislike lined pants. And the pants were not skin tight. Not even close.

Family Day is Sunday. I must go and be the good wife. I get the feeling I'm not that well liked by the wives of the men that Soldier works with. Just a hunch and the fact that I got the evil stink-eye from them at a function last fall. I can't help it that skin tight, pre-worn Prom/Bridesmaid dresses are not my thing. I don't do gaudy hair, make-up, jewelry. And I am NOT stuffy and anti-social. I had laryngitis and couldn't talk!!! I represented my husband in the way I felt he deserved. I was proper, behaved and polite. And I was covered where I was supposed to be covered. So I got lucky in the Lauren department at Macy's, geesh!!!

OK, so I had better get back to work. I've got two aggressive work plans staring me in the face and have no reason to complain I don't have time to do everything. I needed to brain dump and that's just what I've done.

And the 4th is gone.....

I so love the 4th of July. It signifies summer, swimming, the smell of suntan oil, smelly kids, popsicles and grilling. OH, and my birthday!!!

The 4th of July this year meant something different. This July marks the 10-year anniversary of the the death of our brother, Jason. He was killed in a tragic car accident. We celebrated his life this year with a typical Iowa kegger party. The turnout wasn't what we had hoped, but those that did come were glad to be there and appreciated us doing this. Will we do something similar at 15 or 20 years. Not likely. I believe we've learned our lesson and will keep it more intimate.

This July also signifies a new chapter in our lives. My sister Jamie is in early kidney failure and went from 1 option to 5 options to 3 options. The constant option is the donor list, which she's on. There was a donor in death (who was also a close family friend), but the match was not compatible for various medical reasons. Nicole, her friend and blood match, went through testing only to find out she was not a tissue match. That was a devastating blow to all. Jenny, my middle sister, goes through testing at the end of August. She's a 6 for 6 marker match (whatever that means). If Jenny turns out to not match in the tissue department, it's between me and the donor list. Unless her insurance says no more testing and then she's at the mercy of the donor list. We'd prefer that to not happen.

This is also the summer before my mad hatter starts Kindergarten. She's absolutely THRILLED to be starting. Wait until I tell her about all the doctor's appointments she has to go to. Dental and eye exams are mandatory now. I can't even get her to the pediatrician's without foaming at the mouth. How am I going to get her to submit to an EYE exam? Criminy.

And my birthday. It's Wednesday. Am I doing anything you ask? I haven't a clue. It's Family Day on Sunday and Soldier has drill. So unless he's arranged something with a sitter, my guess is I'm cooking dinner Saturday night. We don't typically go out mid-week and leave the kids with a sitter, so I'm betting he'll grill on Wednesday since he's off work. There may be cupcakes. Or carrot cake. Who knows. I don't get worked up much on my birthday. BUT I am getting older and fussier. It could happen.

The responsible one.....

So guess who in my household must be the responsible one? Yes, me. Why, you ask? Because I'm the mom. After several days of no TV because our cable was on the fritz and two days of torrential rain, I had to figure out an alternative plan.

Soldier and I celebrated our wedding anniversary by spending the night at a local golf resort sans the kiddies. This was great until the constant thunderstorms kept making the satellite at the resort go out and we were left watching a blank TV screen. I can do that at home for free. We opted to go down to the bar and have a drink and a much needed snack. That was all well and good until this obnoxious guy bellies up the bar and exhausts everyone around him with his ignorance.

Soldier and I retired back to the room to kill 2.5 hours until our dinner reservation. I came prepared with two new books. Soldier was flipping through the channels so fast I can't imagine he was comprehending what exactly was on TV. We ended up napping in peaceful bliss for 90 minutes. We complained about getting out of bed to get showered and dressed for dinner. I wasn't hungry and really didn't want to do anything.

Dinner was heavenly. The restaurant was not packed at all. We ate to much and went back to the room and passed out from food coma.

The next morning we had a light breakfast, checked out, ran home to make sure we didn't have any water in the basement, ran to the grocery to get stuff to make cookies in case it continued raining the rest of the day and then went to get the kids.

Chunky fell asleep on the way home and the mad hatter crawled into our bed to watch cartoons. I almost thought I was making cookies by myself. Mad Hatter came out and asked to help. She really played in teh sink of soapy water and dirty dishes while I made the first of hundreds of chocolate chip cookies.

Soldier disappeared. I heard him yelling obscentities from the basement. Ahhhh, XBox had claimed my husband. Great.

Chunky woke up from a nap, grabbed a cookie and headed outside. Soldier came up to find the source of cookie yumminess and mad hatter was dying for a cookie. I sent them outside with warm cookies. Our neighbor was outside so we took her cookies.

The kids toed the line with the HUGE mud puddle. And being any responsible mother, I told them to go for it. 30 minutes of muddy splashing and screams of pleasure, I had to hose the kids down, peeled their clothes off (which I must dig out of the hamper and wash)and put them in the tub. All while making sure I didn't burn the cookies and get dinner started.

Where was Soldier you ask? Why, in the basement on XBox shooting zombies with his other online cohorts.

And that is why I'm the responsible one.....

Blog for Jamie

We are going to move over to the below blog to record this wild and crazy ride called a kidney transplant/donation. http://3girlzandakidney.blogspot.com/

This blog will remain solely for my little family.

Monsters & Aliens and other stuff

So we took Mad Hatter to see Monsters and Aliens today. What a cute movie. I'm surprised Mad Hatter sat through the entire thing. Must have been the Milk Duds and popcorn!! She was sitting between Soldier and I and the moved on the other side of me with her blanket and then moved one more seat down. Why do you ask? Because Mad Hatter is a thumb sucker. We are trying to help break the habit. She wanted to suck her thumb and sitting to close to us was not allowing her to do so. Chunky was hanging with the g-parents and having a good time.

The other stuff....Jamie is moving forward with her transplant stuff. That will all happen at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. She started making calls yesterday and is waiting on callbacks with next steps. She sees her urologist the 31st I think for a one month visit. Her creatine has been slowly increasing. Normal is under 1.0. As of Wednesday or Thursday it was 3.6. Up 0.1 from 3 1/2 weeks ago. She's also asymptomatic so that's a little reassuring (I think).

Soldier and I had the talk about his thoughts on me donating a kidney. He said that he'd rather me not do it, but ultimately it is my decision and he will support me no matter what. I respect his position and I'm scared I may be making the wrong decision.

We are supposed to be getting snow. It's the end of March. That is not OK. Soldier spent a small fortune last weekend on new saplings and shrubs. We've planted everything and were fortunate that the week was a mix of warm and drizzly. Snow is not OK. At all.

Because my HTML writing skills are not what they once were, here is the link to follow along with the progress of Baby Stellan. I was introduced to this blog via another blog I follow.

http://www.mycharmingkids.net/

Please keep this family and sweet baby in your thoughts.

And so it starts.......

So I guess this is where it starts. Where all blogs start. At the beginning. It's possible that I should have started this a long time ago (like 5 years ago), but who has time? After becoming a follower of three blogs, I figured it's time. Sure, everyone is on Facebook or MySpace, but I think I need more of an outlet.

Do I have lots of backstory? I sure do, but I don't have the stamina to put it all out there. I will give a brief rundown.

July 1992 (Jamie help me here) - Jamie was hospitalized and had a kidney removed. Two weeks after my birthday. It was one of the scariest times of my life.

July 1999, my older brother was killed in a car accident. He had turned 26 that January. I had turned 25 two weeks before he died. Almost 4 years to the day before the day Jason died, my nephew, Jason's son, died of SIDS. July is not a great month. We are having a big 10 year blow out in Jason's memory over the 4th of July at Mom & Dad's farm in Iowa.

October 1999, I met Brent. Our first date was November 8th. It was a Monday. I wore a navy blue suit (he picked me up at work). He wore a tan and ivory gingham dress shirt and khaki's. And Doc Marten's. I knew the moment I saw him that I was going to marry him.

June 2000, we bought our house. It's a 3 bedroom, 2 bath ranch. So much work, love, hate and memories are in this house.

April 2003, Brent and I got married. It was beautiful. I didn't love my dress tho.

May 2004, Mad Hatter was born. Labor and delivery was so easy I couldn't wait to do it again. She was a great baby. Now, she's almost 5 going on 16.

May 2006, my mom had a stroke. I cried like a baby at work. Thankfully the damage wasn't bad.

February 2007, Chunky Love was born. Labor and delivery....labor sucked big donkey. Delivery....meh. I had large quanities of drug in my epidural, I felt nothing. Couldn't walk for about 6 hours. He was a good baby. Was a puker until 9 months, stitches at 10 months and constantly covered in bumps and bruises. He thinks he's 10.

March 2009, Jamie just called me. She's moving forward with her kidney transplant. How I hoped it was a fluke. How I hoped that it would just go away and this would never happen. And I locked my keys in the car last night. I don't know where the spare key is. Damn